I am an advocate for mental health. However I’ve noticed that I don’t practice what I preach. Emotionally and mentally I have gone through a pretty rough time – and although physically I’ve rebounded fairly quuckly, my mental state is not as strong as I wish it was. To be completly honest with myself, and with you guys, I’ve been having depressive thoughts for a long time. Lately I just haven’t been strong enough to rise above these toxic thoughts.
My mother pointed out to me that it is all up to me. I am in control of myself and my thoughts and I need to cut myself some slack. I can’t expect to have everything resolved in one day.
So I’m going to start taking it one day at a time. Today was a good day. I ate well, watched movies I had wanted to see for a long time but had put off, and spent some time with my little sister taking pictures of each other while it was storming out.
That’s something that stuck with me today. We had planned to go out and walk around the neighborhood. To take pictures. Explore a bit. The problem is it had started raining, thundering and lightning. We didn’t let this stop us. We waited for the lightning to be far off and then we put on our sneakers and grabbed the one umbrella we had.
As we huddled under the umbrella and hopped around puddles, I realized that this is something I live for. To do stupid things with my little sister. Today was good. I just need to keep my head up.