Guilty! At times I get a bit so caught up in what “image” I am trying to put up that I stop doing and being who I am in order to portray something that is expected of me. Reality isn’t pretty. Reality isn’t camera ready, or constantly happy. Most of all social media isn’t real.

I see and use social media to connect – to become inspired – to learn – to exhibit myself. I get so caught up in who is doing what and what is happening where. In wanting to keep up with everyone, “I’m doing this!” “Notice me too!” It’s sick.

I love social media, but at times I don’t think everything I am putting out is a hundred percent authentic. It’s about being real, about being genuine. Not copying someone else because that’s what works for them. Not being false because that’s what “draws an audience.”

The bottom line is who am I doing this for? Do I run my social media accounts to make other’s happy? To make them like me? Or do I do them because I like posting pictures? Because I enjoy posing and setting things up?

I think the key to being authentic is making sure that whatever you put out has a message. As an artist this is automatic – I am trying to say something. Whether that is here’s a cute picture of me and my thoughts on X or simply here’s something I thought was pretty or I felt good today so here’s my face. Selfies aren’t bad. Just like self portraits painted by the classical artists weren’t bad. It’s a representation of myself.

Yet at the same time I need to create more. To grow more and use my socials as a portfolio or online diary of my life. That’s really what I started my instagram as – an online picture diary. Somewhere along the line it stopped being that. I see that I’m veering away from being authentic to myself and need to be more conscious about it.

A mindful check in every now and again if I am happy with what I am putting out will be mandatory for me. I want to grow, and pretending to do that won’t do me any good.