Falling of the wagon, getting off track, slipping up. Whatever you wanna call it – I’ve been there, you’ve been there, your neighbor’s dog has been there.

We tend to put an incredible amount of pressure on ourselves to be perfect and to achieve our goals. The moment we don’t act up to the standards (often times standards that we have placed on ourselves), we feel a sense of shame and failure. Since I got off track I must be failing right?

I for one, am guilty of being pretty awful towards myself. Take this blog for example – as I’ve picked up youtube, in my head I haven’t had enough time to write posts. I also used youtube as an excuse for why I haven’t been meditating, and why I haven’t started yoga.

Time! I don’t ever have enough time! Or do I? Am I so caught up in the thinking of doing that I am actually not doing anything? Why am I still letting this fear of failure paralyze my goals?

There is a solution to this. Mindfulness. I know! I know! I preach this constantly and you can probably find five more posts about me talking about being mindful on this blog, or on my instagram. And that is because it’s a process and it is something I am not yet very good at.

Being mindful of what my goals are and what I need to do in order to achieve them will highly assist in me getting there. I need to be more lion mind and less dog mind. I’ll admit it! As of late I have chosen not to do anything productive and instead waste my time doing nothing with friends and lazing away in front of a screen. I did this for a week. A week. Am I happier now? Am I nearer to my goals? No. No.

So here I am, writing again, making art. I need to be more selfish with my time and put towards things that I want to be doing – which is creating. Don’t get me wrong – absorbing is also an essential part of living and getting inspiration, as well as a wonderful way to relax, but it’s hustle time.

I’m putting myself on a schedule. Minimum one video a week (Wednesday), and minimum two posts a week (Monday and Friday). Any extra posts and videos will be something extra for now. Studying, journaling, meditation, yoga, and creating art should be a daily thing. I have to make time for myself.

I really want to get myself into a healthy routine and form these habits. I think I read somewhere about how when you write things down, put them out into the world, you affirm them. This post is an affirmation for me. I am setting my goals and my tasks and holding myself accountable.

-Mindfully, Lilu

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