I’ve been back in town for about four days now and it’s become glaringly obvious how easy it is to fall back into the same roles you played before. We do the same things, interact with the same people, behave the same.
I like to believe that in the past 7 months I’ve grown a bit, or at least matured in my behavior. Become someone new so to say. Yet why do I still argue with my mother over petty things? Why do my sister and I still act as if there’s some sort of competition between us?
I think it might be that the people you go back to visit treat you the same way as before. They haven’t seen me grow and change. Or seen how I react differently, so they continue to treat me the same way.
Perhaps instead of shifting the blame to someone else I should take some responsibility. It’s me who’s changed and thinks differently.
I’ve outgrown this small town.
The bubble has popped.
I’ve moved on to bigger and better things. Don’t get me wrong. In no way is it easy. I’m fighting it to a degree – I really am. I want to be better but I cry. A lot. There’s nothing wrong with crying….
It just shouldn’t be a daily thing. Past that however it’s just slowly realizing that I am in full control of what direction I choose to steer my life in.
So are you.